


The Dick Dick

by LanceyLancerLance_MiloMcLeggy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adult Shiro (Voltron), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Disaster Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Matt Holt, British Allura (Voltron), British Romelle (Voltron), Coran is Allura's dad (Voltron), Coran is the gorgeous Man We All Need, Cuban Lance (Voltron), F/F, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay Adam (Voltron), Gay Disaster Keith (Voltron), Gay Lotor (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hawaiian Hunk (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron) is a Ray of Sunshine, Hunray is a blessing, I'm making Allura and Lance and Adam family, I'm probably forgetting some tags oh well, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Italian Matt Holt (Voltron), Italian Pidge | Katie Holt, James is A Ass, Japanese Shiro (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lance (Voltron) Has Self-Esteem Issues, Lance (Voltron) is Cute, Lance has a large family so it only natural that he is "dramatic", Lance is A real anime nerd, Lesbian Allura (Voltron), Lesbian Axca (Voltron), Lesbian Romelle (Voltron), M/M, Memes, Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Siblings Am I right?, Texan Keith (Voltron), Texting, Trans Male Lance (Voltron), Trans Pidge | Katie Holt, Vine Refrences Too, Voltron Lions as Cats, bisexual veronica (voltron), i don't know how to tag, pansexual shay (voltron), shiro is such a dad, so many memes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-01-15 04:24:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18491287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LanceyLancerLance_MiloMcLeggy/pseuds/LanceyLancerLance_MiloMcLeggy
Summary: This is Texting Au thing but with so many memes it hurts me soul that and there isn't enough of these texting Au's out there so here's my part





	1. The AbsOLUTE CHAOS

**Author's Note:**

> It's already a disaster it'll only get worse with the MEMES

Lance added Pidge Holt, Matthew, Shiro , Adam, Coran, Hunk, Allura, Romelle, Shay, Keith to the chat

Lance named the group OwO What’s This?

Lance changed his name from Lance to Ocean Baby

Ocean Baby changed Keith name to Furry Cowboy

Ocean Baby changed Hunk’s name to Blessed Boy

Ocean Baby changed Pidge’s name to Grass Child

Ocean Baby changed Allura’s name to Qween

Ocean Baby changed Romelle’s name to Romeow

Ocean Bay changed Shiro’s name to Space Dad

Ocean Baby changed Matthew’s name to Ratthew

Ocean Baby changed Adam’s name to Ye Olden Boi

Ocean Baby changed Coran’s name to Best Uncle

Ocean Baby changed Shay’s name to RockStar  
(10:50PM)  
Ocean Baby: Hewwo Guys welcome to the worse BEST chat ever!!

Qween: Lance what is this for?

Grass Child: Yeah what is up with this?

Ocean Baby: I just wanted A place where we can all talk instead of texting everyone individually.

Blessed Boy: Lance! Buddy that’s so nice of you to do!

Best Uncle: Hunk is right my boy! This really is a splendid idea!

Ocean Baby: Thanks Hunk and Coran I adore you guys!

Furry Cowboy: Why the hell is my name ‘Furry Cowboy’?!

Ratthew: I am oddly ok with mine. 

Space Dad: Lance. 

Ocean Baby: Oh shit it’s dad SCATTER!

Qween: Zoom.

Furry Cowboy: Beam me up Scotty.

Ratthew: YA YEET.

Remeow: Nyoom.

Grass Child: Gotta Blast.

RockStar: Team Rocket is blasting off again!

Ye Olden Boi: Zoinks! Like let’s skedaddle Scoob!

Space Dad: *audible sigh*

Ocean Baby: Man it’s only been like 5 minutes and this chat is already wild! This is gonna be fun!

Best Uncle: I must agree with Lance this is pretty fun right now talking to you guys! =)

Qween: Coran you are truly a blessing among men like Hunk.

Grass Child: I wish you were related to me Coran I’d switch you with Matt any day I swear.

Ratthew: Hey! >:/

Furry Cowboy: Face it Matt no one likes you enough to be your sibling.

Ratthew: :((

Ocean Baby: You’re just jelly that Coran is my uncle.

Space Dad: Lance, I’m wounded. I thought we were family.

Furry Cowboy: You don’t count because you haven’t married his cousin.

Ye Olden Boi: Yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Qween: Disgusting.

Ocean Baby: ‘Llura we are his family if he’s disgusting then so are we.

Qween: I forgot that damn family rule.

Best Uncle: Allura! That’s no way to speak to your cousins.

Qween: But Papa! It’s disgusting!

Ocean Baby: Hahahah better listen to your dad Allura.

Qween: Lance when I see you I’m going to hit you.

Furry Cowboy: Now that’s a show I’d pay to see.

Grass Child: Count me in too!

Ratthew: I’ll bring popcorn!!

Blessed Boy: :((

RockStar: :((((

Grass Child: Oh no we have sadden the Holy Ones.

Ratthew: We must repent for our sins!

Furry Cowboy: I regret nothing.

Blessed Boy: >:(

RockStar: >:((

Furry Cowboy: I regret everything, I’m sorry Lance.

Ratthew: I’m sorry too.

Grass Child: I too apologize out of fear of getting beat by such a beautiful being.

Space Dad: You kids should be asleep already.

Ocean Baby: Shiro is right I need my beauty sleep! Night Gang!

Furry Cowboy: Weakling.

Ye Olden Boi: Keith like your one to talk Mr I sleep at 7 pm on the weekends

Grass Child: Dang Keith and I thought Lance was bad smh.

Grass Child: I too am off to bed because my mom just told me too.

Ratthew: Yeah we listen to mama. Night!

Qween: Me and Papa are turning in for the night too we do have classes tomorrow after all rest well!

Best Uncle: Rest well kids!

Blessed Boy: Night everyone! Night Shay!

RockStar: Night Hunk + everyone.

Ye Olden Boi: Night kids see yall later!

END OF CHAPTER ONE


	2. PrIdE mOnTh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PRIDE related shit uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pride everyone!!!

OwO What’s This?  
(9:30 AM) June 1st

Ocean Baby: HAPPY START OF PRIDE MONTH FELLOW GAYS! 

Blessed Boy: Pride month! It’s time for the annual pride flag baked goods I make!!

Qween: FUCK YEAH HUNK I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THOSE!!

Furry Cowboy: What do you mean by that?

Space Dad: Yeah my interest has been pecked.

Ocean Baby: Hunk here makes baked goods with pride colors trans colors you get cupcakes pan colors cake and so on so forth.

Grass Child: That sounds amazing I’m going to guess that we’ll be getting things this whole month?

Rathew: Ohhhhh Lotor has a sweet tooth for hunks baked goods!

Blessed Boy: Then Lotor is next on my list to bake for right now I’m making for two different people!

Ocean Baby: He’s making me trans colored Cookies :3

Qween: I do hope he’s making something for me too!

Blessed Boy: I am don’t worry I’ll talk to you guys later!

Ocean Baby: Yeah I have to go too Veronica is demanding I help her with her make up later!

Qween: Later!

Furry Cowboy: See ya.

Rathew: I wonder if Lance can do my make up to?

Grass Child: I may only have known Lance for a semester but I will not doubt he would gladly do that for you Matt.

Rathew: Cool! Let’s get back to working on your robot! Later!

Grass Child: Later.

(5:50 PM)

Ye Olden Boi: Heck I missed out on the fun!

Furry Cowboy: That’s what you get for sleeping till 4 in the afternoon!

Space Dad: Keith that’s rude of you! Even if it is true you shouldn’t say that!

Ocean Baby: GUYS I’M LIVING HUNK JUST CAME BY TO HANG OUT AND BROUGHT THE COOKIEES THWY ARE IN THE SHAPE OF SHARKS!!!!

Blessed Boy: I pride myself on only the best for my Bro!

Qween: Hunk your a real life angel we don’t deserve you!

Blessed Boy: just wait til you get what I’m going to make you tomorrow. uwu

Ocean Baby: Me and Hunk are gonna go now we are going to watch anime and stay up all night long later!

Blessed Boy: Bye!

Qween: Bye Guys have fun!! :)

Furry Cowboy: So long.

Qween: I am going to go for the rest of the evening! Good night! Text you all tomorrow!!

Space Dad: Goodnight! Keith Adam you guys want a pizza movie night?

Ye Olden Boi: YES.

Furry Cowboy: Gosh Adam your like a little kid. But I’m down too.

 

(11:30 PM)

Grass Child: Whoa.  
END OF CHAPTER TWO

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this! This is my first fic on the site so hopefully my stories will still be just as good here! please wait till the next chapter!


End file.
